It's been said that Jim Barksdale's witty homilies could only come from a book issued to southerners who become CEOs. While I have yet to unearth a copy of this secret book, I do have the next best thing: notes from dozens of meetings with Jim, which capture just a small sample of his thousands of JB Sayings. In no particular order...

• "The infantry is always ahead of headquarters."
• "If your own kids say you're a deadbeat, it's hard to get respect on the outside."
• "If you ain't got a reference, you gotta do a whole lot a talking. A reference is the most important sales tool a rep can have."
• "We're lost, but we're making good time."
• "Your job is to run as fast as you can towards the cliff. My job is to move the cliff."
• "That's kind of like a houseboat: not a good house... not a good boat."
• "It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog."
• "It's like prostitution: first you got it, then you sell it, and then you still got it."
• "How does it work? Works real good."
• "Experimenting on the net: first you try something. Since it's just software, there's no need to bend any sheet metal, or trouble the guys on the loading docks. Second, you post it on the net. If it works, it's a product. If it doesn't, it's market research."
• "Nobody cares about us more than us."
• "If you can do it, it ain't braggin." Dizzy Dean, as related by JB
• "If these journalists didn't see us coming, what make them think they can see us going?"
• "Plan the work and then work the plan."
• "Don't keep a dog and bark yourself."
• "Management spends too much time fixing problems instead of pursuing opportunities."
• "smart is not how much you know, but how quickly you learn."
• "If anyone has some data, let's hear it. If we're just going to use opinions, then we're going to use mine."
• "If a company doesn't have profits over the long haul, then it's gonna be a short haul."
• "The purpose of a business is to create and retain customers." citing Peter Drucker
• "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."
• "Some people aren't happy unless they aren't happy. If they're not having a bad day, then it's a bad day."
• "Three rules: if you see a snake, shoot it; don't play with dead snakes; everything looks like a snake at first."
• "In a bacon and egg breakfast, the hen is supportive, but the pig is committed."
• "No decision is a decision."
• "In a fight between a bear and an alligator, it is the terrain which determines who wins."
• "The way to boil a frog in water is to turn up the heat real slow."
• "Only two ways to make money in the software business: bundling and unbundling."
• "I can't pull a sleeve out of my vest."
• "Lion wakes up in the morning and knows that he has to run faster than the gazelle or he's going to go hungry. Gazelle wakes up in the morning and knows that he has to run faster than the lion or he's going  to be eaten. Moral of the story: folks, when you get up in the morning, hit the ground running!"
• "Now I'm the President around here. So if I say a chicken can pull a tractor trailer, your job is to hitch 'em up."
• Regarding overhead: "They've got a bigger bulldog to feed."
• "Never mistake a clear view for a short distance."
• "There ain't never been a horse that can't be roped."
• "The enemy is on the outside."
• "Three kinds of people: 1) see change and think of ways to capitalize, 2) see change and can't think of a way to capitalize, 3) don't see the change."
• "like painting stripes on a horse and calling it a zebra."
• "like Liz Taylor said, 'I don't care what you say as long as you spell my name right.'" 
• "The most effective military strategy in history: point all your forces right at the enemy and beyond."
• "We're going to jump with every chute we build."
• "Every good list of objectives has either 3 or 5 things. If it's 4, you either got one too many, or you forgot something."
• "If you can't remember your objectives without looking at a piece of paper, you can't hardly achieve them except maybe by accident."
• "Netscape strategy: get out, get in."
• "You cannot manage that which you cannot measure."
• "If you can't measure the objective then don't put it on the list. We got too many things to fix that you can measure to waste time with things you can't."
• "Nobody ever won a war by dying for their country. You win a war by making the enemy soldier die for his country." JB quoting Patton
• Re Q4 budgets: "If you like 'em, great. If you don't, get used to 'em."